Many couples end up getting a divorce after having persistent and unaddressed trouble in their relationship. These problems are common in many relationships, however, for some couples, these issues are best resolved with facilitation. When a couple experiences obstacles to their relationship, they may find relationship counselling useful.

Many people have heard of couples who go through months of counseling and still end up in divorce court. Unfortunately, one of the problems with the success rate in relationship counselling is that many couples wait until the last minute to get counselling and often when one partner has already decided to end the marriage.

You Should Start Counselling as Soon as Problems Occur

As soon as you start experiencing issues in your relationship and find that the issues are unresolved you should consider using a relationship counsellor who can teach you skills that can help you during the rest of your marriage.

If you’ve been married for a long time you may have developed a pattern that is causing issues in your marriage. You or your partner may feel like you’re being taken for granted, or you may have lost some of the sparks of romance that your relationship once had, or having children may have changed things dramatically. When you notice these issues you may consider using the services of a relationship counsellor to facilitate change.

You should not wait until the last minute, using the relationship counsellor as a form of intervention before you get to the point of divorce. Relationship counselling takes time and effort. If you and your partner are not ready to invest both of these, then you should not expect counselling to work.

You Should Choose the Right Person to Do the Counselling

Some people believe relationship counselling doesn’t work. However, they may have experienced issues with the counsellor. If you go to relationship counselling with your partner, you both need to feel comfortable with the counsellor you choose.

You may need to consult with several counsellors before you find the right one for you. This takes time, which is why relationship counselling is not a last minute strategy. For each counsellor you may decide to try a few sessions, to see if the person is a good fit for your concerns and whether the relationship feels right.

You should look for the services of a person who specialises in couples therapy, instead of an individual therapist. Couples therapy is different because the therapist cannot take sides. They have to work with both people, which is a different skill requiring specialised training.

Before setting an appointment you should ask the counsellor about their training and certification and if you’re counselling sessions are covered by insurance or a rebate.

What If Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Go?

Sometimes, only one partner is open to going to counselling. In this case, it can be difficult to make changes in the relationship. However, that doesn’t mean you should give up. Instead, the partner who wants counselling help should start out with the services of an individual counsellor or therapist or is competent in addressing relationship issues. This can help them learn how to deal with their contribution in the marriage and how their problems can affect a relationship. The relationship specialist can guide the one partner towards solutions that can help their relationship including more effective communication. They can also offer advice on how to get their partner to consent to couples counselling.

What Can You Learn In Relationship Counselling?

Relationship counselling can provide a couple with the tools needed to improve their relationship. One of the most important ways relationship counselling benefits a married couple is by teaching them how to communicate effectively.

Over time, communication can break down in a relationship. This leads to misunderstandings. These can become arguments and if they’re not resolved can be the issues that lead to the breakdown of a marriage. Effective communication is necessary for any long-term relationship. Without it, even the most seemingly happy relationship will eventually disconnect and be unfulfilling.

When a counsellor helps a couple to communicate more freely, they can start working on the core issues affecting their relationship. These issues may be past infidelity and lack of trust. These issues require good communication, working through of repairing trust in order to resolve them.

A relationship counsellor can also teach a couple useful skills that can help when conflict arises. These skills may include anger management techniques and other ways of handling your emotions in order to keep a small issue from exploding into a major problem.

Relationship counsellors offer their clients a number of ideas they can use to understand and enrich their relationship. They may recommend a date night, or even a short getaway, if possible. These small things may not seem like much, but to a couple in trouble, it may be the initial steps to getting things back on track.

Where Can You Find the Best Relationship Counsellor?

One of the best resources in finding a good relationship counsellor is to speak to a friend or family member who used a counsellor to save their marriage. If you know people who have gone through couples therapy, you should ask them about relationship counselling benefits. They can give you a real-world view of how it helped them. In addition ask your health care professional.

Of course, you will find some people who have had negative experiences with relationship counselling. You can learn from their experiences. What was it about the counselling or counsellor that caused an issue?