Getting married is one of the best things that can happen in a persons life. Finding that special someone you wish to spend the rest of your life and get old with is an unexplainable feeling. While falling in love and getting married is one thing, learning to live with someone and share your everything is something else.
Although you may love this other person dearly, there comes a time when you get to disagree on something and differences become evident. This however doesn’t mean you don’t care about the other person; it could be because the two of you haven’t worked through these differences before. It is with proper understanding and communicating with your partner that you can get the chance to enjoy your marriage for eternity.
Every marriage has unique problems that can only be solved through clear communication and understanding. Disagreements may erupt making the two of you feel like you aren’t supposed to be together. Nonetheless, your love will always pull you back hence find yourselves reconciling and agreeing to move on.
If you however feel that your marriage boat is sinking fast, and the issues are going unresolved you should then consider using the services of a marriage counsellor. Marriage counsellors are specially trained professionals that help with relationships and can help mend your marriage hence live a happy life. Discussed below are a few marriage counselling benefits, and how a marriage counsellor could help your marriage.
1. Improved Communication
As mentioned earlier, communication is critical in every marriage. When you air your feelings and thoughts to your partner (husband or wife), he or she will be able to understand you much better. A marriage counsellor helps facilitate clear communication, learning to talk to your partner and being able to listen to their views without interrupting them. If the two of you talk at the same time, then no one will be listening hence no solution to the problem. A marriage counsellor can however help you learn the importance of listening, supporting each other and coming to solutions.
Marriage counsellors use cognitive therapies and other frameworks to help couples learn how to communicate with each other, instead of exploding due to emotions.
2. Enable Couples Cope with Each Other
It takes more than just courage for one to leave his/her past to live with someone as a couple. One important thing you should know about being a couple is that you get to understand how this other person is, firsthand. Certain behaviors (such as drinking, smoking, coming home late, nagging) require talking through of expectations and discussion about plans of action.
If a relationship is becoming abusive eg. verbal or physical for example, a marriage counsellor can help your husband or even wife, to realise their mistakes and turn around for the better. If one person has anger issues, the marriage counsellor can recommend anger management therapy on a one on one basis. It is through anger management that this person will know how to channel his/her anger into something productive. You also get to learn how to deal with people with anger issues amicably without causing any problems.
3. Build On Strengths and Trust
Many couples start focusing on the deficiencies in their marriage, rather than what makes them stronger as a unit. If one loses sight of the bigger picture, then chances are he/she will seek help outside the marriage, forgetting he/she can still get what they need from the union. Taking some time to see a marriage counsellor, can help point out each persons strengths and find direct ways to meet each other’s needs.
It is easy for relationships to become predictable especially if in a marriage for may years. This could make the other person bored or even want to seek more fun outside. A therapist can however help you identify new ways to connect again, which again helps build trust over time. Enabling couples to learn to trust each other again is one of the marriage counselling benefits.
4. Deepening Intimacy and Connection
While the first few months (and years) may be full of love and care, factors such as kids, work, and even fatigue can take away the attention and happiness without you knowing it. This often leads to interrupted communication as everyone is too stressed to enjoy each other.
Marriage counselling however helps infiltrate connectedness, sex life, and overall connection. An experienced marriage counsellor will help you understand that how you can appreciate each other whilst also attending to these chores and responsibilities. In other words, the marriage counselor helps remind you the reason why you are together in the first place.
5. Learn to Forgive and Let Go
Learning how to communicate with your husband and wife, as well as rejuvenating your love are often fruits of learning how to forgive and let go. Living with someone means he/she will offend you in one way or the other intentionally or unintentionally. However this can build up if unexpressed and a marriage counselor will help you express and let go of feelings, see the benefits of forgiving and learning to develop positive relational habits.
These are just but a few of the many marriage counselling benefits that you can take advantage of to save your marriage. Although a simple step, this could save you all the heartache and help you have a better functioning and happy family.