Forgiveness is not something that comes easily, especially if you are dealing with someone who has significantly wronged you. While you keep the grudge around, it is not recommended. There are many things that a person can do to wrong you, and they are all of varying degrees. It is helpful to look closer at the wrong doing and evaluate if it is actually a smaller issue than it feels. Of course when there is a significant and more important error that has occurred that really challenges our inner peace and makes it alot more difficult to resolve the issue with the person involved. The question however is whether or not you are willing to let it go, and eventually restore harmony in your relationship.When the incident first occurs it can be impossible to see any way to forgive, and that is perfectly fine — at least in the beginning. We all need to feel hurt at times and this is understandable. As you move forward however, you will find that it is no longer possible to carry the burden of hate. It can be much more freeing to forgive, at least if you want to move forward with your life. That is the prize of course, the ability to move forward, and improve your emotional wellbeing. Carrying ongoing feelings of anger and hostility are not helpful for our emotional health, contributes to stress and negatively impacts our relationships. If you pay close attention to your ongoing feelings you may find that this is true in how it impacts you on a daily level.
Now that you understand why it is important to forgive, the question is how you get there. Yes, it is going to be difficult, but difficult doesn’t mean impossible! The following are the steps that you will need to take to reach that seemingly impossible conclusion:
Step 1: Try to Understand the Situation
There is a chance that you’ve been looking at the situation through jaded eyes, or rather, you have simply been too angry to understand and put things in persepctive. Try to see from the other person’s point of view and understand how things could have gone wrong.
Step 2: Talk
If you have cut off communication with the other person, you are going to have a hard time offering forgiveness. Re-open those lines of communication and work on interacting again.
Step 3: Compromise
Be willing to offer a compromise. This may mean accepting that you are not always right. It can be quite the revelation to some people and it can also be hard to accept. Aim for a resolution that meets both of your needs, at least in a small way. In spite of this reality, this is the step on the road to forgiveness that you need to take.
It’s time to start down the road to forgiveness. It will be difficult, but it will be well worth it in the end.