Forgiveness isn’t for the person who wronged you, it’s for you. When you hold on to anger or resentment, you are risking your health. It’s like taking a poison and drinking it down. You won’t feel well, you’ll be miserable.

At some point in life we all have to forgive someone. Even if the person doesn’t deserve it. It may feel as if forgiving someone is letting that person off of the hook, but it really isn’t. When we forgive often the person that wronged us feels even worse.

In a way, forgiveness is realism. It won’t make less of what happened, it won’t justify it. It simply helps us not to dwell on the wrong and allows us to face our lives head on. Without encumbrances.

Forgiveness shows that we are the better person and ready to move on. Forgiveness doesn’t let the other person off the hook. If there is restitution to pay they still must pay it. If there is a mess to be cleaned up, it still must be cleaned up.

Forgiveness can’t be forced though, it must come from within ourselves. It must be genuine. Words alone don’t really mean forgiveness. Forgiveness gives freedom and peace. It allows room for healing to begin and for us to regain our positive self esteem.

It removes the part of us that is a victim. It gives us the right to move on with our lives and stop hurting.

Begin by allowing yourself to feel the pain. Then let it go. Go outside somewhere where no one will hear you and scream it out if you have to. Getting rid of this anger is a first step in forgiving.

This may have to be repeated a few times to get rid of all the anger and hurt. Next, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you forgive the person. Do this until you feel you mean your words.

Sometimes we have to tell the person we forgive them, and sometimes we do not have to tell them. It can vary. Choose which route you must take and move forward. Do you have to forgive them in person? If so, tell them. You may wish to have someone along while you do this, it’s up to you. Do what makes you feel most comfortable.

Remind yourself often that you have forgiven the person and you are healing from the damage that has been done to you. Again, you may need to revisit this a few times to get it to sink in.

Lastly, let it go. It’s over an done with. Nothing will ever change that it happened. You however can move forward with your life and enjoy life now. You are no longer a slave to what happened and your pain or sorrow. You can now enjoy living in the present. The past may have shaped and molded you into who you are, but the present is the gift you have earned for all of your pain and suffering.