Finding a relationship online can be easy if, firstly, you have a good understanding of what a balanced relationship is, and secondly, you are sure that you either are not, a love addict, or have codependency issues yourself. Online dating between two psychologically healthy individuals is possible, but you have to know how to recognize those who have addictive or codependent personalities. Once you are sure that the person you are communicating with online is not codependent, obsessive, or has a love addiction, you can progress with the relationship.
How to tell if you are codependent.
If you regularly have relationships with people who have codependent personalities, you are enabling the behavior of the other person to continue and you are therefore a codependent. Enabling involves any behavior on your part, no matter how well intended, that allows a codependent or a love addict to continue with their behavior of self-destruction. Learn how to recognize codependent characteristics, some of which include:
• Your good feelings about yourself is dependent on your partner liking you.
• Your partner’s struggles affect your serenity
• You are focused on protecting your partner
• You focus your mental attention on your partner
• You focus your mental attention on solving your partner’s problems
• Your own interests are sidelined and replaced by your partner’s interests
• Your self esteem increases when helping to solve your partners problems
• Your partner’s personal appearance, choice of clothing and behavior are dictated by what you desire because you feel that your partner is a reflection of you
• Your fear of rejection determines what you do or say
If you have more than three of the above characteristics, or you notice them in your cyber partner, you are advised to first attend to your own relationship. If they are characteristics displayed by your partner online, move on and find someone else.
Healthy internet dating will evolve at a mutually comfortable pace for both partners without any elements of fantasy and escapism. There are genuine people, looking for good relationships, online. Avoid being roped in by codependents or love addicts who become obsessed with you and swear undying love after a day or two of chatting online.