Some people believe that once they get married this is their fairytale ending. This leads to many people not wanting to admit when they need to get marriage counselling in Melbourne. However, it is important that you know the signs of needing marriage counselling in Melbourne and taking the steps to finding a counselor that will be able to help you. If you do not take the time to understand what the signs are you could face a more permanent end to your dream marriage even though it could be avoided.
When You Are Not Talking
In most cases, challenges that people have in their marriage are often challenges in communication. If you find that you and your partner are not able to honestly talk to each other about issues or everyday life then you need to consider seeking marriage counselling in Melbourne. A marriage counselor will be able to help you find new ways to communicate with each other.
Once communication in your marriage has deteriorated it can be hard to start talking again without help. A therapist will be able to act as an intermediary which makes it easier to talk. The therapist will also be able to lead the conversation to help you and your partner become comfortable with communicating again.
When You Talk It Is Negative
Not talking is a problem, but it is also a problem if all of your communication with your partner is negative. Negative communication will generally leave one person feeling angry and the other feeling judged, shamed or disregarded. These emotions will start to fester and could lead to insecurities in the marriage and the need to withdraw from all communication. If you find that all of your communication is negative then you need to look for a marriage therapist who will be able to help you.
It is important to note that negative communication is more than just the words that you say. The tone and your behaviour that you use can also create negative communication and you need to consider this. Negative communication can also escalate into emotion abuse even when the words being said are not negative on their own.
A therapist will be able to help you identify how all of the communication in the marriage is negative. They will also be able to show each partner how their words are affecting the other person. There are times when one partner does not realize how their words and tone are being perceived by the other person and this can cause major problems if not dealt with.
You Are Too Afraid To Talk About Something
There are many couples who need marriage counseling because each person is too afraid to bring up certain topics. This could be anything from money to annoying habits that are causing stress for one person. If you feel that you cannot bring up certain topics with your partner then you need to consider going for counseling.
The counsellor will be able to help each person clear the air about the issues that they have. They will also be able to help you determine what you are truly talking about. An annoying habit that your partner has would generally have been there all along, but there is another underlying reason for why it is now becoming unbearable.
When Affection Is Withheld As A Punishment
A lot of people feel that they can withhold affection in order to get their own way in a marriage and this is not a helpful thing. When this starts to happen, it creates an imbalance in the relationship as one partner is seen as having more power than the other. If this is something that happens in your relationship then you need to talk to a counselor. The counselor should be able to find other ways of communicating because of the negative impact it will have on the marriage.
When Secrets Are Being Kept
Secrets are something that has caused the end of many marriages and you need to be aware of this. While it is important to be honest with your partner and not keep major secrets, this does not mean that you should not have any privacy. It is important that you and your partner establish an open and honest relationship while still providing each other with the privacy that they need. However, having secrets that could seriously impact the marriage is something that should be avoided.
A therapist will be able to help you find the balance between too many secrets and the right amount of privacy. There will always be information that is withheld in a marriage and you need to talk through what is acceptable.
When There Is Infidelity
When people think about infidelity in a marriage they immediately assume that one person is having an affair, but there is more to it than this. If you or your partner is having an affair then you need to look at counselling and addressing why this has happened and how each other can find healing and trust again.
You should also look at counselling if there is financial infidelity which is as damaging to a marriage. If one partner in a marriage keeps the other in the dark about their spending or has to control all the finances there is a problem. If your spouse will not let you be part of the finances then you should consult a professional to help you work through this.
Find a recommendation through your GP or a friend.